A Seat at the Table

Asha Ellison
Jul 9, 2018
3 min read

It starts with a savory aroma rising in the kitchen.

Pots atop the stove rattle and hum a gentle, sweet simmer as a melody of roaring laughter bellows from the dining room table.

There's a clinking of glasses; a toast to the evening. A blessing of gratitude follows the buzz of the timer on the oven.

"I'm so glad each of you could make it," welcomes the host of the dinner party.

And the mason jars, wine glasses, and tumblers clink on in agreement.

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In my adult life, I have greatly enjoyed cultivating relationships and building bonds around shared culinary experiences. Maybe, that's because I grew up with a mother who loved to entertain--and so did her friends. It's instilled in me. So much so, that I wouldn't be surprised to learn it's actually genetic.

I'm also a Gemini so I am social by nature. But one thing I know is this: there is nothing that lowers guards, penetrating spirits and conjuring connectedness, like breaking bread with others. There's no amount of schmoozing that can reach to the core of a person like a warm, comforting cobbler or a fresh-baked ziti. Nothing.

When I started leading a women's group through my church, our first meeting was around my dining room table. I didn't have all the time in the world but, because I know that, as hard-working and hesitant women, we'd each need a little comfort, I made sandwich sliders out of King's sweet Hawaiian rolls. They

were toasted and topped in butter (no shame!), dressed in turkey and provolone and baked to ooey-gooey perfection. The ladies loved them.

I also had the opportunity to weave prayer, the purpose of our group, and some icebreakers into the conversation that evening -- served alongside fresh fruit, chips and a whole lot of support. The foundation was laid.

I no longer lead that women's group but friendship remains. During the tenure of our group, we gathered often around my dining room table. We celebrated birthdays, we each brought our talents to the fold with potlucks, we cried together, opened White Elephant Christmas gifts, laughed until our bellies hurt and stayed together way longer than our schedules permitted. But we were full. Full of life, full of food, nourished and our cups, indeed, had runneth over.

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I love how food and eating together builds community. Coming together around the table has almost always been communal for us a humans. Having a seat at the table helps us to connect on levels that are intrinsic and uncomplicated by the world. We relate to each other culturally, intellectually, spiritually and naturally.

And that's the good thing about food -- it never stops bringing people together. How we feed each other during times of revolution, happiness, war, peace, chaos and all that lies in between is so important. Good food paired with friendship and humanitarian effort is more than just something to do on a Friday night; it is a movement.

And so, I revel in the moments I get to enjoy celebrating life or relaxing with friends over food. It's a release and good for our communal mental health.

Almost every month, one of my dear friends, a talented food blogger in the Charlotte community, hosts a kickback at her place. It's amazing. She takes time to plan, prepare and execute an entire menu. She invites the people who bring joy to her world -- the ones who serve and give back to others. The ones who need a little extra love. The ones who pay forward peace, perspective and positive vibes in a world that is currently shaded gray. And she brings us all back to to life! It's revival.

Through the marrying of flavors, she nourishes each of us. She fills us up so that we can continue to pour into others.

And even though we only live vicariously through each other's stories for a night, we become better people for it. It's satisfying-- to the spirit and the palette.

Are you looking for a recipe to bring people together?

Start in your kitchen and open your heart. Add a handful of amazing friends and family, a dash of peace of mind, a sprinkle of laughter--and toss in some cayenne to kick it up a notch!

Please enjoy the photos of wonderful food in the gallery below from our first get-together earlier in the year.